I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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