SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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