you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
