Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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