I'm drive I can fine osifer
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
