There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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