my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I am spending my child support on dildos
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
