I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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