just come out here and I will go home with you...
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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