I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
