I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
