So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
