omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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