problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
