Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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