How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
