Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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