God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
