3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My ass is underappreciated
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
