if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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