why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
