pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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