saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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