Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
