What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
