My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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