Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
