guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
