It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
