youre lurking in front of me
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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