When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
