i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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