I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
