the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
