at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
