Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
