Apparently you make a good broom.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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