I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
