Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
