...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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