On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
