Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
