if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Randomize
