Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
