I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
