everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I am never drinking with the goths again.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
