I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
