Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
