i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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