Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
