sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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