She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
